Mothers and Nannies
Any mother who has just made the decision to return to her previous job and leave her child - or baby - in the care of a nanny, is going to go through a lot of inner turmoil. Allowing a stranger to bring up your kids would be a big issue with any mother, and the decision is usually arrived at only after many days or weeks of agonising analysis.
The first piece of advice I would offer is that once you have made the decision, you must learn to accept it and concentrate on making your new arrangement work. Ignore the nagging voices in your head, forget the inner conflict, and get on with the business of ensuring your baby is well looked after by your surrogate.
What about the very natural doubts you may have of what could be going on in the house when you are not there? One way to help calm yourself is to spend a few days together with the nanny going over the routine of food preparation, play-time, afternoon-sleep time and any chores which maybe required. Knowing the timetable and having seen the nanny in action will be comforting, as will a few phone calls during the day.
Ask for, and always check referrals. Most nannies will have them. Preferably they will be previous clients, but if not, they could be her neighbours, friends or relatives. Ten minutes of chatting with all of the people in her contact list will give you a quite a bit of information, and probably a degree of "feel" for the person you are considering hiring.
Continue reading »